Wednesday, 30 June 2021


Sometimes people think the on the world and the earthly doings can give them all the happiness. But no, the world is unfair and so sometimes life is, life is a rollercoaster, there is always up and down along the journey, we can experience passing through rough roads and bumps. 

We feel so happy when good things happen like we have successful career, friends and love ones that make our life happy by sharing laughters, getaways, parties and feeling all the positive vibes or when people may come into our life to share and experience love as if we are on cloud 9. But then if something happen we feel so devastated or depressed because we get used of the happiness. 

We can only found eternal happiness through Gods love, who loves us unconditionally in all areas of our life. With no exception, no condition, infact God came down to earth to rescue the broken, the lost, the oppressed and those who are less privilege people and not the righteous

He rescued me few times already. And still rescuing me, making me strong and he is laying a stronger foundation so next time I can handle better if life's challenges strike on me over and over again. 

I want to be like Him, to give and share love unconditionally, to love those who hurt me, to forgive those who betray me, to rescue and serve the people that are in need of help and not depend my happines on anyone else but be happy with my own.

So, I will surrender everything to you God, all my burden, my worries, my pain, my heartache and all the negative feelings that the enemy is trying to weaken me. 

With you, I will get all the happiness and undying love that the world and people can't give. All the praises and glory are for you and only you my Loving, Merciful and Forgiving God,  You are my strength, my Healer, my salvation and with you I will have  eternal happiness.

If you haven't experience the love og God yet, now it's time to turn around on Him, know Him and He will lead your path into eternal happiness that the world or people can't give.

For A Reason and Season

Yes, He came for some reason and for only a season. Another tragic event arise after the death of my late hubby. Late October 2020, my Mums passing, again it's very devastating moment that adds up to what I have been through in the past. 
But for a reason, God sent someone to comfort me, to give me guidance and support, to show love and care to me, to protect me and make me feel secure, to ease the pain and sorrow im feeling that moment so I've escaped a bit from that grieving process. 

He just came right in time that I never expect I needed anyone.  In those season, I felt happy and loved, Yes I have loved him and I felt his love too not knowing it's only for a season. 

But because he is only for a reason and not for a lifetime, I gained a lesson and experienced that I can make my life better, it makes me tough and strong person in the future. I will just cherish all the good things and kindness he showed at me, and all the memories we've made with be treasured and will always stay in my heart.

Thank you for being there when I needed someone to lean on, you don't know how grateful I am those times the you came into my life.

Thursday, 24 June 2021

When Love is Difficult

Three things that will last forever are faith, hope and love. The greatest of them all is Love. 

What is love to you? The biblical  meaning is Love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it doesn't boast and it isn't proud. It doesn't dishonour others, it's not self-seeking, it's not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrong. That's how God showed his love to us, because God is love.

I was watching and listening to the preaching of a pastor about Love series, and how we practice love according to Christ love to us. Sometimes we misunderstand the kind of love we show to our friends, loveones or to our partner or in marriage.  But the truth is there is the real kind of  love we experience, there is true love and a there is a counterfeit love.

Lets find out the difference between True and Counterfeit Love.

What is true love? True love is a choice, true love is sacrifice and a commitment. It's unconditional and acceptance of the other persons imperfection. It's about faithfulness and trust.The person consider the feelings of another person and dont give up easily, there is no fear in love but perfect love cast out no fear, because fear involve punishment and the one who fears is not perfected in love. 

Counterfeit love? Is all about feelings, its being self centered kind of love. A person may show love  for it's own benefits. The person thinks he/she loves you according to how he/she feels only, more on attraction or physical connection but not with a pure heart to accept a person imperfection if some challenges in the relationship. The person uses most of his feelings, our emotions are sometimes uncontrollable that if we used it in a bad situation it will just destroy the relationship because the feelings are unstable if we decide only according to our negative emotion it doesn.t result to a better decision.

In my personal experience, I always show true love to someone, but sometimes im a difficult person to love, maybe because I can be moody and sensitive, and this video helps me learn and realise what kind of person I am.

I will share the video of the preaching, about the Love Series, it has a few episodes and you can search it on youtube. it's worth watching. 

Monday, 21 June 2021

Finding Oneself

So being alone wasn’t something I wanted. Until suddenly, I didn’t have a choice.When he walked away and left me holding the pieces of my broken heart, I suddenly became the one thing I realized that I feared being alone. As I was replaying the events of the last few days and how we fell apart, a very hard truth dawned on me.

I always want someone to share my life with not because I always found the person to be irresistible or appealing, but because I didn’t want to be alone. I sacrificed what I really wanted because of my subconscious fear of facing life without someone to share my days with. It’s those defining moments in life that change not only you, they can change your entire future as well.

I never had to face myself because I was wrapped up in someone else all the time. And now, as I looked in the mirror, I realized that I didn’t know the woman staring back at me. At least not in the way I should. Sure, I knew the basics of what I liked and didn’t like, but I didn’t really know the answers to all the hard questions. I knew who I was but only through the eyes of others- not because I knew and loved myself.

What made me truly happy? Where was my joy? Did I do the things that filled up my soul? I had spent all my time and energy on other people instead of focusing on me. Tears shed and rolled down my cheek as I stared in the mirror. I had never truly loved and found myself because I was busy trying to love people that didn’t deserve me. And more importantly, I would never be able to accept real and lasting love until I learned to love myself first.

It’s a hard place to be when you finally understand that you’ve neglected your own self love and happiness for so long. But that stops now. I’m tired of choosing love because I dont want to be alone.
No, I want love to choose me because I’m happy and because it’s what I want. That they are who I want, not just who I’m settling for to not be alone. No more dead end men and kissing frogs that pretend to be princes just because I’m scared to be alone. No, I’m going to chase a different kind of love now. The type that won’t let me down, that’ll always be there and will always be worth it in the end.

The kind of love that is genuine, passionate and respectful- one that I’m proud to call my own.
I’m going to spend my days making my heart happy and my nights fulfilling my soul. It’s time I changed my life most of all, starting with me. I’m going to do more than fall in love with being alive..
I’m going to fall in love with the person that I should have loved a long time ago..

The best love story of all, with myself. That’s the happily ever after I’ve always deserved is only to give, surrender and offer my life and plan to God that's the only eternal happiness I will have,

And now, I got this. I don’t know where I’m going or how to get there, but I’ll find my way. One step at a time. I will one day find the true love and my prince charming 💘🙏

Wednesday, 16 June 2021

Not only Better but Best

In life we get to encounter lots of experiences, lots of breakthroughs from our career, friendship, relationship, family, society or the world we live in.  

What's best life experience you had experienced and what's the greatest lesson and impact it affects in your life that gives you the strength to keep on going?

As for me, I think the best experienced in my life is about relationship, loving someone. What keeps me going is my trust and faith to God that He will cast my burden upon me. 

Was is that your best experience too? Well I hope it was a happy ending experience. 

They said Love is Blind, love someone unconditionally no matter what the status of person. And I was truly blind. Maybe because when I love someone I give my best shot, did I? I trust too much and act so innocent knowing both are happy together, knowing there's nothing wrong, knowing the other person feels the same way and have the intention and purpose in achieving the commitment, no contract that has expiry one day, or no one can separate or end whatever challenges you may encounter along the way. But that's not the way it is.  It takes two tango, but what if only one is dancing? 

Well sometimes love just ain't enough to survive, sometimes it can be one sided, very unfair, self-centred and sometime has cruel intention . Sometimes its about selfishness, sometimes people looking for love for the sake that it will fulfill their happiness, it will satisfy their needs, they found another love to divert their brokenness but in the end if they get bored and feel uncertain they find ways to escape without thinking of the other person feelings. A person can say I love you through their words, their actions, efforts and time, we can be easily deceived by those pretentious act, it should be all came from the heart, sincerity, being genuine and most especially honesty.

Have you ever experience that kind of situation? I hope you didn't but I did. Im proud to say that and I'm not ashamed. The kind of situation I was very scared to experience and want to be avoided but it strikes on me, a Goal. I don't deserve it but it happened. And yes I don't deserve him at all, I don't need to settle for less and use my emotion to lower my worth, I wont let anyone drag me down because of what I have been through, I was disrespected and treated with dishonesty, abused my kindness and innocence, I feel like I was manipulated with lies, can't imagine how a person did it, never expect that huh. Its because Im blind, but now I see. I have my God who give me strength and the heart to forgive that whoever mistreat or hurt you "forgive them" because they might not know what they are doing. Instead, pray for the person, he maybe like a sheep that was lost in the wilderness. Pray that he will be guided and God will light his path in direction that he wont get lost again. 

I never regret, I feel the love after all, it was so real, a new experience I've learned. I might say one day, been there, than that. Its nothing, its painful but you will get through it. I realise that not all people that treat you good will stay same, they have hidden desire or secrets  that you can't tell. But I became smarter, stronger, wiser, very careful in choosing and assessing the quality of a person emotionally, physically, mentally and important the one that knows Jesus. I guess, I can say that I'm not afraid to fall in love again, but for now I will put myself first and God will do the rest, He is my Giant God that can take away all the hurt, pain, worries, anxiety, fears I have within me. He has the right person reserve for me and its not only for the better but for the Best. 

If you encounter the same, don't lose hope and don't give up on love, keep believing that someone out there is destined for you, the pain will go just indure it, it won't last. Be patient and you will be rewarded with greater love and right person will come into your life in the right time.

Thank you God for the experience, I Love You Big Time. 

To Love and Be Loved

by someone is the best feeling ever. Yes, I was loved, so loved that I can't imagine I will ever felt it again. It's beautiful feeling that I was like in a fairy tale, like a princess. I'ved met a beautiful person and he treat me so special and made me feel i'm the prettiest woman in the world 😃 He showed all his care and loved to me, I genuinely feel it. He was so caring, loving, devote all his time, always there to cheer me up when I'm down and comfort me with his love. Helps me do some handyman job around the house that I will be forever so grateful.

My comforter, my lover and my bestfriend that we get along in every activities of life from gardening, table tennis, netflix, shopping, beach walking, dining out, camping, roadtrips and parties with friends, etc. We jive, laugh and joke around. I like his personality the way he look at life and how to live life. We both had strong family relationship which I love the most. But for some reason and for the best of both, we part ways with no hatred. Wherever our path may take one day, I wish him the best and a life full of happiness. In Gods time if ever our path may cross, we can smile to each other and happy whereever our life may takesplace.

Thank you for loving me.

Today is my Birthday

Today, I’m going to change my mindset and remember who I used to be and what I wanted.
Life has been dragging me down, so I’m going to flip the script.
I’m going to do less of the stuff that brings me down and more of the things that fill my soul.
I’ve been going too long and too hard at doing the things that don’t replenish my spirit.
That stops now.
I owe it to myself to get out of this rut, expand my thinking and rediscover my joy again.
I’ve been going through the motions for far too long and not listening to my soul.
That stops now.
No more regrets, no more excuses.
If my life isn’t what I want it to be, then it’s up to me to change it.
I’ve been treading water and just getting by for as long as I can remember..
And it’s left me feeling empty inside.
I’ve forgotten how to live on the way to making a living.
I’m done with that thinking and accepting “good enough.”
I’ve let too many things and happiness pass me by without standing up and doing what makes me happy.
I’ve been just getting by.
I’ve lost the joy of living and forgotten what it means to be truly happy.
Not just in the moments, but in my life.
I’m taking back my happiness and reclaiming my life.
Instead of making excuses for why I can’t,
I’m going to find the reasons for why I can.
Life is too short to leave things undone, unsaid and unfelt.
Everything happens for a reason and I realize that this is my wake up call…
It can be yours as well.
Someone out there needs to hear this, so I’m telling you it’s time we stood up and made the changes in our lives that we need to be happy.
Not just for a moment, a few minutes or a day..
But for the rest of our lives.
I’m not going to leave things undone, unsaid and not felt.
I know that chasing my dreams and finding happiness won’t be easy..there will always be roadblocks and detours on the way to anywhere worth going.
I just know with love in my heart, peace in my soul and fire in my spirit, there’s nothing I can’t do..
So, take my hand and let’s start truly loving and living.
No more excuses, rationalizing and accepting less than we deserve.
It’s our time and this is the place where we remember our dreams and start believing in ourselves again.
Forget about yesterday and tomorrow.
Let’s live in the beautiful moments of today.
After all, forever starts right now..
If you have the courage to believe in yourself and chase your dreams.
I know I do. 
Join me, won’t you?