Wednesday, 30 June 2021


Sometimes people may think the world and the earthly doings can give them all the happiness. But no, the world is unfair and so sometimes life is, life is a rollercoaster, there is always up and down along the journey, we can experience passing through rough roads and bumps. 

We feel so happy when good things happen like we have successful career, friends and love ones that make our life happy by sharing laughters, getaways, parties and feeling all the positive vibes or when people may come into our life to share and experience love as if we are on cloud 9. But then if something happen we feel so devastated or depressed because we get used of the happiness. 

We can only found eternal happiness through Gods love, who loves us unconditionally in all areas of our life. With no exception, no condition, infact God came down to earth to rescue the broken, the lost, the oppressed and those who are less privilege people and not the righteous

He rescued me few times already. And still rescuing me, making me strong and he is laying a stronger foundation so next time I can handle better if life's challenges strike on me over and over again. 

I want to be like Him, to give and share love unconditionally, to love those who hurt me, to forgive those who betray me, to rescue and serve the people that are in need of help and not depend my happines on anyone else but be happy with my own.

So, I will surrender everything to you God, all my burden, my worries, my pain, my heartache and all the negative feelings that the enemy is trying to weaken me. 

With you, I will get all the happiness and undying love that the world and people can't give. All the praises and glory are for you and only you my Loving, Merciful and Forgiving God,  You are my strength, my Healer, my salvation and with you I will have  eternal happiness.

If you haven't experience the love of God yet, now it's time to turn around on Him, know Him and He will lead your path into eternal happiness that the world or people can't give.

For A Reason and Season

Yes, He came for some reason and for only a season. Another tragic event arise after the death of my late hubby. Late October 2020, my Mums passing, again it's very devastating moment that adds up to what I have been through in the past. 
But for a reason, God sent someone to comfort me, to give me guidance and support, to show love and care to me, to protect me and make me feel secure, to ease the pain and sorrow im feeling that moment so I've escaped a bit from that grieving process. 

He just came right in time that I never expect I needed anyone.  In those season, I felt happy and loved, Yes I have loved him and I felt his love too not knowing it's only for a season. 

But because he is only for a reason and not for a lifetime, I gained a lesson and experienced that I can make my life better, it makes me tough and strong person in the future. I will just cherish all the good things and kindness he showed at me, and all the memories we've made with be treasured and will always stay in my heart.

Thank you for being there when I needed someone to lean on, you don't know how grateful I am those times the you came into my life.

Thursday, 24 June 2021

When Love is Difficult

Three things that will last forever are faith, hope and love. The greatest of them all is Love. 

What is love to you? The biblical  meaning is Love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it doesn't boast and it isn't proud. It doesn't dishonour others, it's not self-seeking, it's not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrong. That's how God showed his love to us, because God is love.

I was watching and listening to the preaching of a pastor about Love series, and how we practice love according to Christ love to us. Sometimes we misunderstand the kind of love we show to our friends, loveones or to our partner or in marriage.  But the truth is there is the real kind of  love we experience, there is true love and a there is a counterfeit love.

Lets find out the difference between True and Counterfeit Love.

What is true love? True love is a choice, true love is sacrifice and a commitment. It's unconditional and acceptance of the other persons imperfection. It's about faithfulness and trust.The person consider the feelings of another person and dont give up easily, there is no fear in love but perfect love cast out no fear, because fear involve punishment and the one who fears is not perfected in love. 

Counterfeit love? Is all about feelings, its being self centered kind of love. A person may show love  for it's own benefits. The person thinks he/she loves you according to how he/she feels only, more on attraction or physical connection but not with a pure heart to accept a person imperfection if some challenges in the relationship. The person uses most of his feelings, our emotions are sometimes uncontrollable that if we used it in a bad situation it will just destroy the relationship because the feelings are unstable if we decide only according to our negative emotion it doesn.t result to a better decision.

In my personal experience, I always show true love to someone, but sometimes im a difficult person to love, maybe because I can be moody and sensitive, and this video helps me learn and realise what kind of person I am.

I will share the video of the preaching, about the Love Series, it has a few episodes and you can search it on youtube. it's worth watching. 

Monday, 21 June 2021

Finding Oneself

So being alone wasn’t something I wanted. Until suddenly, I didn’t have a choice.When he walked away and left me holding the pieces of my broken heart, I suddenly became the one thing I realized that I feared being alone. As I was replaying the events of the last few days and how we fell apart, a very hard truth dawned on me.

I always want someone to share my life with not because I always found the person to be irresistible or appealing, but because I didn’t want to be alone. I sacrificed what I really wanted because of my subconscious fear of facing life without someone to share my days with. It’s those defining moments in life that change not only you, they can change your entire future as well.

I never had to face myself because I was wrapped up in someone else all the time. And now, as I looked in the mirror, I realized that I didn’t know the woman staring back at me. At least not in the way I should. Sure, I knew the basics of what I liked and didn’t like, but I didn’t really know the answers to all the hard questions. I knew who I was but only through the eyes of others- not because I knew and loved myself.

What made me truly happy? Where was my joy? Did I do the things that filled up my soul? I had spent all my time and energy on other people instead of focusing on me. Tears shed and rolled down my cheek as I stared in the mirror. I had never truly loved and found myself because I was busy trying to love people that didn’t deserve me. And more importantly, I would never be able to accept real and lasting love until I learned to love myself first.

It’s a hard place to be when you finally understand that you’ve neglected your own self love and happiness for so long. But that stops now. I’m tired of choosing love because I dont want to be alone.
No, I want love to choose me because I’m happy and because it’s what I want. That they are who I want, not just who I’m settling for to not be alone. No more dead end men and kissing frogs that pretend to be princes just because I’m scared to be alone. No, I’m going to chase a different kind of love now. The type that won’t let me down, that’ll always be there and will always be worth it in the end.

The kind of love that is genuine, passionate and respectful- one that I’m proud to call my own.
I’m going to spend my days making my heart happy and my nights fulfilling my soul. It’s time I changed my life most of all, starting with me. I’m going to do more than fall in love with being alive..
I’m going to fall in love with the person that I should have loved a long time ago..

The best love story of all, with myself. That’s the happily ever after I’ve always deserved is only to give, surrender and offer my life and plan to God that's the only eternal happiness I will have,

And now, I got this. I don’t know where I’m going or how to get there, but I’ll find my way. One step at a time. I will one day find the true love and my prince charming 💘🙏