Tuesday, 3 August 2021

Self Control

There are eight fruits of the Holy Spirit, these are love, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control.
One of the hardest fruit of the Holy spirit that sometimes I can't apply to my life is the Self Control.  What is self control? It is an act or behavior of a person to react on a certain situation and the ability to response or deal emotion and thoughts, the behavior to control temptation and negative feeling that will affect to a person. 

I have hard time controlling my feelings and thoughts sometimes. Wasting time on some bad habits that isn't helpful, consuming my time to something unproductive and unhealthy, its because I don't have self control or discipline. I thought it can give me pleasure just by doing it as a habit but it's not very healthy at all. The mobile phone, I know it happens to every person in general, if you're idle and not doing anything you just keep on holding and fiddling your phone. I bet everyone would understand because they do it themselves. Sometimes if we gather with friends, you can observe that most of them were always on the phone so they can't have a quality time together because each of them were on the phone. 

But now, I have self control, I challenge myself not be hooked up and dependent to something or someone that only gives me temporary happiness. It's been 2 weeks now I didn't depend on my phone if im not doing anything, I now leave my phone in my locker so I won't look at them all the time, sometimes your not waiting for messages or notification but it's a habit that you like to be updated of what's happening to the news feed even though all you do is just scroll and its all the same. So now I've realised that it's OK not to look at or check my phone all the time. I also put my phone on silent when I'm asleep so I won't get disturb with the notification or any group messages that are active. 

I can say that I can't live without holding my phone all the time and I'm glad I had that self control and discipline in myself that if I don't need to do, I really stand for my own principle. 
What makes me busy now if I'm not doing much is I spent intimate time with God, listening worship song, watching God's preaching online and reading Gods Word in the bible, it makes me feel good and happy just putting my time alone with Him

If I can do it, you can do it too... 

Wednesday, 28 July 2021

It's lifted

Adelaide was declared it's 3rd lockdown since the start of pandemic last year. It was effective last week 20th of July for only 7 days until further update. It's the start again when people are panic buying their basic foods and essentials for the household. Only one person each household can only shop, it's compulsory wearing the face mask when you are outside. Even us working in supermarket were told, theres no excuses even it's hard to communicate with the customers wearing the mask. It's means this delta virus is really very infectious compare to the previous ones.

My friends are already complaining how bored they are just staying at home and watching netlfix most of the time. But to me and my sister because we are an essential worker it's just normal for us because we can still go out, work and see people.

The only thing that change for me is I can't do my outdoor activities like going to church, table tennis, walking along the beach and yoga were restricted, so it's different. But I still managed to do the yoga by watching the video on youtube and just following them, it's actually good, it's like the same as in the yoga studio, but you're doing it alone. I was very motivated that I keep on doing it for an hour without resting. I'm quite happy with that and even thinking to do it online rather than on the studio so I dont need to pay.😁 

And today was the first day the lockdown was lifted. I start early shift at work for only 5hrs, I quickly visit a friend for lunch since it's allowed to visit already. I went home and suddenly just went to the yard to tidy and clean up the garden. My sister helped me with it so we finished quickly that I didn't think it will be done on that afternoon.

While sister and I were tidying the garden, we talk about going for a walk and tag a long a friend that is eagerly to go out because she was so bored. So we picked her up and drive to the nearest beach. After walking we agreed to have dinner in Chinatown to our favorite Vietnamese restaurant.

I'm so glad to have a productive day with work, catch up a friend, bonding with sister doing gardening, walking along the beach and first dine out for dinner. 

I hope you get to go out as well on the first day of freedom from lockdown.

Monday, 26 July 2021

New Role

It's a manic Monday, my long hours shift at work. It was a fine day, the sun was out today, I wish I'm off so I can do my laundry 😁. Our department is always busy even there's not much customer, it was relaxing and not stressful day to me, though it feels like a long day compare to some days but can't complain. I was happy and very friendly to customers, it's nice sometimes to make a difference to someone's day, a smile and just a friendly gestures to the customer already made their day.

Early evening, the store support pass by our department, not expecting he will approach me. But he did, he was asking if I have commitment tuesday nights, I thought he will ask me to cover a shift but no. He was doing something that moment and I was about to serve a customer, so our conversation was cut off. He said to get back to me, and later when I was at the back room, he came and discuss to me about tuesday nights.  He offer me a new role at work that's why he was asking if Im available tuesday night. So I told him, I usually play table tennis but this season we played every wednesday so I can be free on tuesday.  

I feel honored to be offered a new role, I suddenly said Yes, not knowing what's the role actually is, new challenge for me, and I like it. It's for my progress and development, a new learning again, another change that can add to my work experience. Slowly things are getting better and life's direction is moving forward to a positive result.

I just hope that I can adjust to new changes and I can quickly learn the new task that was given to me. I thank the store support manager for trusting me to be a part of that role. I will do my best and contribute a big part for the success of the company.

Sunday, 25 July 2021

Self Love

 If your heart hurts a little after letting go of someone or something, that's ok, that's normal to feel that way. You may feel sad because things are not the same anymore and you need to adjust for a new change, new routine or new life to live on.

If letting go is your choice to regain respect and your dignity, then do it. It just means that you are genuine. No one likes end, but sometimes we have to put things that we were once go to an end after they will become toxic to our well being. 

You have to understand that you have love in holding on to someone, but there is also love in letting them go. Sometimes you need to choose yourself and take the first big step for yourself, move on and learn to live without them. Solely for yourself only.

Not every new beginning will last forever and not every person who walks into your life is meant to stay. Sometimes they're just borrowed moments that we don't need to be permanently stuck on them emotionally, so when they walk away we remain the same person as a whole.

Sometimes you will spend minutes, hours, day, weeks or months analysing the situation, trying to put the pieces back together, or justifying what could've, would have happened. But because you love yourself, you just leave the pieces on the floor, make peace with it and just move on.

Tell yourself, your doing this for your own good, for self respect, for self worth especially for self love. It's time to stop say yes, to protect yourself. Choose to focus on your goals and put yourself on top of your priorities. Start to trust yourself that you can do things you never expect to do, and survive every battles of life. Don't allow others to control your emotion and actions even it may means to end the relationship.

Stay true to yourself, don't worry what people may think about you or the way you feel. Keep your head up high and be confident in what you do, be confident in your intention and keep your eyes ahead instead of wasting time on those who wants to drag you back. You can't change people views, you have to believe that true change comes within you and not from anyone else.

The only best gift you can give to yourself is your Dignity, so love yourself and you can fully love others.

Click and Collect

It's Sunday, my day off but since it's lockdown and there's no gathering in the church. I'm available to work if needed. 

So today, I accept an extra shift from other department in the store, the Click and Collect online order because they are short of staff due to lockdown, the increase of online order was really huge. On normal days only two teams where working but this lockdown more than ten teams are processing the orders.

I'm excited to start my shift with the thought that I can learn new things. I was trained when I started and I'm glad I pick it quickly and then I just started to work alone without any supervision. It's different, as I do the shopping for customer order online, I have encounter some things that I wasn't taught about, but it's good the team were very helpful to me.  

I work 5 hours and it seems like very quick as the job is continuous and I'm enjoying it.  What I also learn is to know the different product that I've collected and the health benefit of the product that I didn't know and haven't tried to use or eat.

I don't mind working in that department again and hope I can get some shift again next time.

Friday, 23 July 2021

Done It

It's been a long time since I was planning to sort out and tidy the garage mess. Most of them were stuff from my MIL and some of my stuff collected to put in Balikbayan Box to send to my family in the Philippines.

It's been a few months since I don't spare time to do them, sometimes I'm distracted that other things that I can't be bothered to clean and tidy. But maybe because it will take or takes a day sort them all out. But this time since I have my focus, I had the chance to really tidy them and sort out all the box and send to the Philippines. It's been a few days that I finally accomplished and done all the clean up.

I felt good, it's like achievement or mission accomplished to have it tidy. So happy to share some present or blessing to my family and relatives by sending the Balikbayan box.

All the boxes that needs to be tidy and sort out

All clean and tidy now

Ready for pick up and send to Philippines

Tuesday, 20 July 2021

Self Worth

is everything. Don't let anyone ruin your life by putting yourself on a situation that will lower your value. Build your confidence and don't settle for less. There is someone out there that will see your worth, value  and treat you with respect. The one that make you smile, will lift you up, support you and see the best in you. So don't make yourself feel like you are less the priority and just the second option.  Always know your worth, that you are capable of doing things and treating people the way they want to be treated. 

We have all the control over our lives and see ourselves better than anyone else. Love yourself more so no one can underestimate and put you down. Tell yourself that you are more than enough and deserve the best in life. If someone hurt you, let them do that but don't balance or treat them the same.

Be the real and genuine as you are, being yourself is the best gift ever you can offer to yourself and others. You don't need to compare yourself because you are created unique and be brave enough to show the world who you are without an apology.

Trust yourself more than anything, the world will show up how strong and courageous are you to led things into something new.

Love yourself, so you can get the same love from others.

Monday, 19 July 2021

It's OK

If you've been hurt
If you've been betrayed
If you been lied to
If you think you've been cheated
It's not Ok at all

It's ok to be sad,
It's ok to cry
It's ok to get confused
It's ok to feel lost

It's ok to ask many question
It's ok if you can't comprehend
It's ok if you can't what understand what's happening
It's ok to ask help, to reach out your friends
Especially reach out to God

Remember you are human
You have feelings
You don't have the heart of stone
It's normal to get angry and disappointed

But remember after all the things you've been through
Everything in the end will be Ok
It's a process, it takes time, grieve as you can
Don't make things in a hurry that you will be healed straight away

God is there, surrender all your bad feelings to him
Your heartache, the pain, your fear
The things you most scare of, the anxiety or depression you undergo
God will comfort you and ease the feeling of all the negative emotion that bothers you

One day, things will come back to normal
You will look back the past and smile
You overcome it and you become strong 
You are happy again and living the life you wanted.

Sunday, 18 July 2021

Something Brand New

Today is Sunday, so it means church day. Another Sunday to gain spiritual nourishment that will uplift my spirit and live a life full of God's goodness and blessing.

Today's preaching was about my favorite verse in the Bible, Isaiah 43:19

God's word was telling us, no matter you have been through in life, you may encounter lot's of problem, challenges and storms in life, you may feel lost in the wilderness, you get hurt by someone and loss a love one. Remember be strong, have the courage to stay focus in life. Everything is a process and a journey, don't dwell on the bad past, keep the good memories, but don't look back because it's past and can't never be back again.

Focus and enjoy life's of today, do something good that makes you happy, live a worthwhile and healthy life, spent times with your friends, family, help people that are in need, look after yourself, keep believing life is great, sometimes unfair but it's beautifully made so enjoy each day as you live.

Don't worry about the future because today has it's own worry, just hope and have faith that with God you have a better future and His ways our for the best of us, He will make a way for the better of our life and eternal happiness is only if we seek him with all our Heart.

The scripture says that leave Yesterday Behind, Live for Today and look forward for the Future. What ever happens to our life and our past. God has prepare some thing brand new for us, so let's all be positive and be inspired for the upcoming future.

I'm so hopeful that God will be there for me no matter what and whatever that I have been through in the past, it's all about learning, growing, making me close to Him, He wants me to be his bestfriend, lover, comforter, my priority and my Healer when I'm so broken. 

Saturday, 17 July 2021

Home Stay

Today is not as bad as yesterday's weather, still rain and strong wind this morning but the rest of the day was fine except tiny bit of rain late afternoon.

This weekend  is my sisters and I day off, we stayed at home, I tidy and finish  filling and packing all the stuff that we need to send to the Philippines and mostly clear up the cluttered boxes in the garage while my sister was doing house chores, what a good team work. I spent half day sorting out 3 balikbayan boxes, I was so happy to share blessings to my family, neighbors and friends.

After I finished, I went to the hardware shop to get some down light globes, my friend is coming to help us out so I need to get them. I had a light replaced in my bedroom too so its so bright already that I can do my Diamond art. I'm very thankful that I have this friend who is always happy to help us with the manly type of job at home. Sister and I, always cook food for him to say thank you and he was happy with that.

Late afternoon it was unplanned, we invite our friends to come over to play mahjong. We often play on one of the friends house, they used to play often at home everytime my mums holiday here in Adelaide but now very rare ,and today was the first one this year.  It's spontaneous but exciting because I can imagine the laughter and jokes we will be sharing while playing. Usually we have some drink but tonight only sis and my friend drink. We always play some music on Youtube, today we played the Oldies but goodies music from 60's to 80's, while remembering mums as her favorite music, as well as the R&B of the 90's, we enjoyed listening that sometimes we dance to the bit.

We had a fun night, full of laughter and sharing some serious matters about lifes experience that we can learn from it. The night finish  or I mean we end up finish the game past 1am so it's already the next day 😁

So thankful for those friends that was always there to cheer me up and also make time to be with me and sister.

Friday, 16 July 2021

At my Best

Today, is another day, I've worked few hours only, suppose my friend will pick me up to have late lunch in the city but I've got message that the other friends can't make it due to the bad weather condition. It was raining all day with strong wind so they cancelled it.

I'm about to go home when my sister message me if the lunch was still going, and I've replied it isn't. So she told me her friend is inviting her for late lunch too and ask if I'm coming with them, and so I said yes since I'm very hungry 😁. We've met her friend in the nearest shopping center , we had combination soup (seafood and meat) very  nice for a cold weather. After that we went for grocery shopping, as we keep walking I remember I have yoga class at 5pm so I told my sister I need to go home first. 

And so I've attended the yoga class for an hour, was very relaxing, the body feels lighter without feeling any sore or tiny aches that I feel sometimes 😊.

Just stolen shot of the yoga studio

 I have arrived home and sister wasn't not home yet. I ring her coz I don't have the house key with me 😏. She and her friend is on their way to the city to have dinner at Korean BBQ, I was thinking we just had lunch couple hours ago and then they will eat again 😀But because they're not far away from home they u-turn and go home so I can go with them, but I suggest to go after an hour because I'm still full and it's only 6.30pm.

They agreed, so we went around 7.30pm and had our yummy Korean BBQ for dinner with a jug of Barley hot tea. We are not a big eater so we didn't order much of the meat even it's unlimited, We only eat what we can finish because if you order more and can't finish they will charge the left over by per kilogram. I like one of the side dish the pickled radish, since we didn't eat much and the owner was very nice and kind he let me takeaway small container of the side dish, I've asked him what sauce or dressing he used to make it taste good but he said it's a secret. Though he didn't tell, I was happy that he allow me to take away the pickled horse radish.

I can say that today is my best day that I've felt I'm at my Best compare to the other days. It's like magic that all the negative emotion I've felt for  a few weeks was just suddenly gone and I hope it will be like this everyday from now on. I didn't realize that my life is too busy to focus on some negative thoughts and situation.

I'm thanking God that He hears my prayers not to make me suffer with the negative feelings for too long. I think He is sick of me praying and begging not to feel that way. I know that He don't want to see me like a miserable person and that I know there is more to life than dwelling in the bad past. And it's only me that can help myself, so I will keep fighting and survive this battle. 

Thursday, 15 July 2021

A constant change

Yes, life is a constant change. Though we have routine everyday, the scenario is always different. Friends come and go, only the real ones stay. Nothing is permanent, even the clock never stop moving, unless it has no battery 😁. The weather change and so as seasons changes from winter, spring, summer or fall. Did you fall? As in falling down or fall in love?😁

We change clothes everyday, we eat different food, the truth is there is permanence in change. So let's all embrace and accept that life has it's up and down, highs or lows, good and bad times, happiness and sadness, laughter and tears. What else? lol ahhh the covid restriction also changes overnight, some days the border is open the next day it's close again, you will just have to laugh about it.

All of us must be ready or prepared if some changes in life happens, we stumble, we fall, we get heartbroken, some people one day will love us the next day they don't, unpredictable 😀we loss our love ones, career changes, friendships fade away. We can say that life here on earth has no assurance. We should learn and know how to deal with it, with less pain, less worries or depression that can destroy our inner self. If we happen to accept what happen in our life, we grow and develop into a better person that we can't easily be broken or shaken by those challenges. We are strong and have understanding on what's happening in the reality of the world we live in. 

So let's live our lives according to our means, love one another, be happy, serve and help one another with no expectation in return. 

In all we do, we only need to trust and have faith in one person and that is God. He is the only one that is permanent  that we can depend and rely on. He will never forsake or leave us in times of troubles. Loving Him has no ending and so His love for all of us never ends too, no matter who we are or what we are.

So let's offer all our heart and mind to Him, in everything that we do let's include Him in our life, so He will be pleased and glorified.

Wednesday, 14 July 2021

Warm Variation (Yoga)

 It's been a week now since I have joined the Yoga Class. One night I was just thinking what other stuff I can do differently to lift my spirit, mind, body and soul. Yoga comes up to my mind, I wasn't even sure if I'm motivated to do it since it takes effort 😄. Me, being lazy sometimes will not push myself to do something especially if it's alone time, but well I need to do things all alone. So I really decided to sign up not expecting what yoga was all about, I just knew that it's good for your health especially if you undergone some sort of emotional distress, so it's for me. 

I found a yoga studio just around the corner where I live, 3mins drive so it's so convenient.  I check the website for more information about yoga and what's best for a first timer. I found the Warm Variation Class, only 26-28 degrees in room temperature. It's good for beginner. 

I rang and signed up, they have promotional offer for new member only $29.00 unlimited for 2 weeks which is a very good deal. I took that promo, so it means I will make use of going to classes as much as within 2 weeks (lol). My first week I attended 4 classes, was so motivated because it makes me feel good attending the first class. 

There are few different kind of yoga classes, most I had attended was the warm variation and one Hot Vinsaya class which was so different from the other. The room temperature was so hot on 36 degrees, imagine being inside the room for an hour, with different stretching and balancing type of yoga. I never sweat my whole life the way I did on that class, I feel like I'm in sauna room and I made it stay until the end. 

I'm so happy with how motivated I am to help myself get out of the chaos in life by doing things I never done before. I had another 4 classes coming before the 2 weeks finished, so I try to go as often most of the week if I'm free.

I didn't realise the health benefits of yoga until I joined. First I don't have any clue, I just assume it's about flexibility and body stretching. It gives me more energy and brighter my moods, it improves strength, balance and flexibility, it promotes better self care and manages your stress. It's relaxing and also reduce body pains. 

I'm enjoying it especially the meditation side of it, I won't mind to keep on attending if I had free time. 

Tuesday, 13 July 2021

Day Off Be Like

Another day of feeling better, being active and productive today though I don't have enough sleep but still energetic to keep going the whole day. 

I had my blood test early this morning, the nurse was very nice and keep chatting to me, didn't notice she already took 3 tubes of blood from me, that was quick and didn't feel  the needle.

Me, longing for a mother since I don't have one now, I visit a friend house who is like a mum to me, I had my breakfast and milo on her place, hang out until lunch time chatting about anything and gain some life lesson and learning from her. How I miss my mum, if there's only stairway to heaven I bet I already climb there just to talk to her and feel her love.

After lunch I decided to go to the nearest beach to have walk, normally I walk during sunset but today is different, the sun is out but very chilly, good thing I have the right jacket with me so I don't feel that cold.  I walk from Brighton to Glenelg. usually I only stop until Somerton vise versa but because I'm enjoying listening worship song and sing along I realize, I walk a bit farther.

I went back home thinking to do some gardening, I bought 3 bags of potting mix the other day but when I tour around the yard and check all the plants, I change my mind. I  need a whole day  to keep up with tidying, propagating and repotting some of the plants especially the seasonal ones that needs to be taken care of. I felt bad they're not growing healthy, I haven't look after them for a while due to the bad and cold weather, and as well I'm not motivated lately which is not good. Well I will update about gardening next time.

The rest of the afternoon I just chill and wait for the early evening to attend yoga class, speaking of yoga I will blog about it next time 😃. After yoga I had my late dinner, salmon steaks and rice, they said its not recommend to eat dinner or have some meal before yoga. Just a stolen shot of the yoga studio.

The rest of the night is just chill with netflix and reading devotional plans on the bible apps before going to sleep.

Hope you all have a lovely day.

Monday, 12 July 2021

Holy Spirit

Sis and I went to the church last Sunday, before the preaching start there's a praise and worship songs. The songs and lyrics were meaningful and very heart moving I was really touched with one of the song titled As the Deer, I just can't hold my tears, it's just falling non stop as I keep singing and praising the Lord, it's the Holy Spirit that makes me feel emotional and teary that no matter what happens in your life still you get your strength to God and Yes He alone are my Heart that I desire and I long to worship thee.

As the Deer Song

After the preaching there's a special worship were the Pastor asked everyone who feel like lost and broken, those that needs to be healed emotionally and physically, those who are confused and on the wrong path of life, those who have addiction and suffering from any illness, those who are experiencing breakthroughs in life to come forward and will be prayed over.

 As the worship and musician keeps singing, I was hesitate first and shy to come forward but suddenly someone is pushing me to step forward and go to the front stage. And there I was walking, with other church members who are dying to receive the Holy Spirit to be refreshed and restored. While the Pastor praying over us with the worship song keep going, I feel great, my heart feels light, as if my negative thoughts, all the emptiness, feelings confused are totally gone with a heavy heart crying, begging God to take away the pain and the hurt inside my heart. After the anointing of Holy Spirit, I felt God is carrying my heart and take away all my negative feelings. I felt better after as I return to my chair, my sister hug me tight, telling me congrats for being brave to walk to the front and surrender to God all the burden I'm carrying.

Today, I woke up feeling different. Usually I wake up still feeling bit anxious, but today I feel something new, I feel better. I work all day and it seems like I'm back to my normal senses, I thought the feelings of being anxious will stay forever but today it's totally different. I'm very cheerful, happy to serve the customers and very chatty, I sing along while the radio is playing, I joke around with my workmates. I have the appetite to eat properly.  I still bit feeling a very tiny bit anxious but it feels normal.

This is me, I'm back to who I am. And I hope it will stay like this all the time. Thank You God for sending your Holy Spirit, to give me love, peace and joy in my heart.

Sunday, 11 July 2021

Stay Faithful

 Love often Starts when you don’t feel the Spark Anymore

Love is not just about what you feel inside. It’s more on commitment and the decision to stay even if you and your partner will face so many challenges. It starts when you don’t feel the sparks anymore, but still, you choose to protect the relationship. Sometimes, we feel so disappointed because we see love as something full of happiness and excitement. But life is always uncertain, people will change, and it takes time to adjust and learn from each other. So be patient when your relationship is being tested. That means God wants you to grow with your partner. The best thing that you can do is put Him at the center of your life so that you will always be guided.

Remember that loving your partner is a constant decision that you need to make every single day. Do not base your love according to their actions. Let God’s love be your ultimate source so that you will never feel empty. Surrender your heart to Him, and He will teach you how to serve your partner with the best that you can. Never forget that being in a relationship takes a commitment. You need to be intentional in everything that you do. It may be hard at first, but soon it will become a habit. Just don’t stop and stay faithful to your partner. Let the love of Jesus remind you what love truly is. 
Don’t simply rely on your feelings. Sometimes, it’s deceiving. Choose to listen to the voice of God, for He will direct you to the His perfect plans. Do not depend on your own understanding. Consult your creator, and He will help you. There will be moments when you no longer feel like loving your partner, but you will slowly realize what true love means when you choose to keep on respecting and serving them. It takes sacrifice, and it’s all about dying to your own selfish desires. Yes, it’s not easy, but the lessons you will learn will serve as treasures that you can always keep inside your heart.

Trust God and let Him teach you how to love your partner. Have faith in Him and know that He cares for your relationships. He wants to be involved in everything that you do. He is the most wonderful writer in this universe. So allow Him to write your love story and let Him be the God of your relationship. Choose Him every day, and He will also give you the courage to be faithful to your partner. Keep going even if it takes pain. Stay committed even if it is challenging. 

That’s what real love is all about. Stay in love till the end.

Friday, 9 July 2021

Hurt People, Hurt People

If you think somebody broke your heart
And they hurt you
Please try to acknowledge your emotions
But never allow the anger to consume your thoughts

Yes, it’s not easy to deal with it
And it’s really hard to forgive those people
Who caused you pain
But just cry it out to God
He will listen to all your concerns

Surrender all your burdens
And let Him heal your heart
Choose to forgive even if it’s difficult
Remember the grace
And the love of God in your life
And never forget His goodness

Let His mercy change the way you see things
Treat God as the King of your life
And you will learn to follow His will
And not your own emotions

The bitterness you feel inside
Will cause harm to others
So release all the anger in your heart
And let Him give you peace
That surpasses all understanding

Choose to release love even if you are in pain
Yes, it’s not easy,
But let Jesus teach you how to do it
Remember what He did on the cross
He never condemned the people who hurt Him
Instead, He asks the Father to forgive their sins

One day, you will also learn
To do the same thing
You will realize the truth
Behind what you are going through
And you will know how marvelous His power is

His love will compel you
To forgive other people
He will lead you to the place
Where there is no bitterness

Trust in His process
And never allow the pain to control you
You are a child of God
And you are called to love your enemies

God, thank you for giving me the heart that can forgive others...

Tuesday, 6 July 2021

Don't Rush

Being in a relationship, we think it's for a lifetime when were on it, of course who wants to break up. And yes for those who are serious and committed only. But for some, is to have more experience and to know the person better and the kind of life they're looking for a future partner. So some take their time to know the person in different perspective, some engage from one relationship to another to really make sure the compatibility. It's just a eating spoonful of food and if it doesn't taste good, they quickly spit it out and try new one. Why eat something that you don't like right? of course you need to enjoy the eating to make you satisfy and keep looking forward to having it next time 😁

That's why don't rush. I was once on the run, like I'm rushing to be with someone and jump into relationship without any precaution, without investigation, without checking thoroughly the past or knowing the person better. When I thought I was treated like a princess I go for it, this is it, he is my prince charming 😂😂. I gave my all that I forgot I should left some for myself, that's my foul there. Everything went so fast and ended so fast too. The sincerity, honesty, loyalty and faithfulness of a person only tested in time and that's only time you know if the person is committed to you for a lifetime.

I learnt my lesson that next time don't rush, don't think that you are left behind from everyone else or you are too old for love. Take your time, take it slow, don't expect so less disappointment. Always remember that Love has no deadline, no timeline, no quota of how many relationship you have in the past.  Learn from experience and let it become your weapon to find a long lasting love in the future.

Remember to value yourself, know your worth and love yourself more than the other person. A so called selfcare that no matter what happen in life you can chin up and stand still.

Monday, 5 July 2021

Rainbow after the rain

I know there’s been many times you wondered why something happened to you and struggled to understand the why's of life. How bad things kept happening when all you wanted was to be happy. Truth is, all those tough times and rough days weren’t meant to hurt you or break you, they happened to strengthen you, to force you to grow and evolve in a way that easy living never could.

Yes, I know they were hard, they hurt and they tried to tear you apart, but they were meant to. We often only realize who we are and what we’re capable of through things that push us to our limits. And I'm still here, still standing, still strong. I've overcome things that once didn’t think Id ever survive. 

There are blessings in the tough stuff if you can stop questioning and start trying to understand. Everything happens for a reason, and it’s up to us to find out why. Maybe I lost sight of who I am, perhaps I need to evolve, maybe I need to be reminded of how amazing I am. There’s always a reason. While there are so many people who believe in you and love you, it all starts with you. And your love and belief in yourself.

I've got better days ahead and there’s true joy in the moments of life, but I’ve got to embrace the good and the bad to make the best of the chances I can get. Things won’t always work out the way you want them to, we make mistakes, fall flat on your face and hit rock bottom every now and then.

But breathe and realize those are just chapter in your story, not your entire journey. So, rise up and stand tall. Be proud of who you are and what you’ve accomplished. One breath, one moment, one day at a time. Know that you can handle anything that life throws at you..

This is your life and your choice. It’s time you started living and stopped existing like you have for so long. Don’t stay in the struggle, enjoy the moments when they come and they will. So, the next time the storms of life come crashing down all around you, pull on those rain boots and start dancing. You can’t change the events and challenges of your days, but that doesn’t mean you can’t dance in the rain.

Always remember, after every storm, there’s a rainbow waiting, just for you. Life is colourful indeed.

You've Got A Choice

I know that sometimes, when the world weighs heavily on your shoulders, you feel utterly alone and lost. I realize that there are many days I wonder if anything I do matters. Whatever you’ve been feeling, whatever you’ve been thinking, however you’ve been hurting. I’m here to tell you that you’re not alone.
There are so many of us walking the same path, with the same struggles, asking the same questions. Take heart, for we will keep walking beside you, hand in hand and heart to heart. And sometimes, just knowing someone is there can be the spark you need to get back up again.

I know that you try, you fight and you love with such an amazing heart and you wonder why you don’t get the same in return. You will perhaps not immediately, but the love you put out in the world always comes back to you tenfold. I know you’ve had a hard past and there’s days you don’t want to keep going, but don’t quit. The world needs amazing people like you, you’re a light when you don’t even realize it. 

Your life may not feel great and you question why you even try, but you’ve been down before and you found a way then. You can find a way now, maybe you feel like your dreams have been crushed and you’ve stopped believing in yourself, and I get that. I’ve been right where you are, before. Telling myself that I didn’t have anyone and that no one cared, feeling sorry for myself because nothing ever seemed to work out.

Life, love, happiness, I always ended up back at the same place, disconsolate and distraught. You’ve got a choice. You can stay in the darkness, learn to love rock bottom or you can choose to fight back. Take back your life, claw out of the pits and pull yourself out of the misery. If you can’t believe in and love yourself first, how can you expect anyone else to?

We both know you can do this, you can do anything you set your mind to. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and start taking baby steps forward. That last love that broke you or the past that’s weighing you down? Let it go, it’s not helping you find your way or grow. You’ll be amazed at how much easier it is to push forward when you’re not carrying the pain of yesterday.

No, it won’t be easy, fast or painless, because chances are, it will be none of those things. But it will be worth everything. Maybe you’ll tell me you can’t, that you weren’t meant to rise from the ashes or you’re too tired and old. Stop and remember who you used to be and the dreams you had. They’re right where you left them, just waiting to be found again..

Just like you. You’ve been gone so long, maybe it’s time to come home and remember who you truly are. But it’s all a choice. Your choice. I’m telling you that you’re not alone, that you’re worth it and you can do this. If you don’t believe, take some of my belief in you. I have enough for both of us. You can never write a new beginning, but you can always turn the page and begin to write new chapters.

Here’s the pen. It’s time to rewrite who you are, where you’re going and what you can do. Keep believing there's something new coming in your life, keep loving, keep moving, keep praying, keep fighting. Be who you are and stay Real.

You've Got A Choice.


Wednesday, 30 June 2021


Sometimes people may think the world and the earthly doings can give them all the happiness. But no, the world is unfair and so sometimes life is, life is a rollercoaster, there is always up and down along the journey, we can experience passing through rough roads and bumps. 

We feel so happy when good things happen like we have successful career, friends and love ones that make our life happy by sharing laughters, getaways, parties and feeling all the positive vibes or when people may come into our life to share and experience love as if we are on cloud 9. But then if something happen we feel so devastated or depressed because we get used of the happiness. 

We can only found eternal happiness through Gods love, who loves us unconditionally in all areas of our life. With no exception, no condition, infact God came down to earth to rescue the broken, the lost, the oppressed and those who are less privilege people and not the righteous

He rescued me few times already. And still rescuing me, making me strong and he is laying a stronger foundation so next time I can handle better if life's challenges strike on me over and over again. 

I want to be like Him, to give and share love unconditionally, to love those who hurt me, to forgive those who betray me, to rescue and serve the people that are in need of help and not depend my happines on anyone else but be happy with my own.

So, I will surrender everything to you God, all my burden, my worries, my pain, my heartache and all the negative feelings that the enemy is trying to weaken me. 

With you, I will get all the happiness and undying love that the world and people can't give. All the praises and glory are for you and only you my Loving, Merciful and Forgiving God,  You are my strength, my Healer, my salvation and with you I will have  eternal happiness.

If you haven't experience the love of God yet, now it's time to turn around on Him, know Him and He will lead your path into eternal happiness that the world or people can't give.

For A Reason and Season

Yes, He came for some reason and for only a season. Another tragic event arise after the death of my late hubby. Late October 2020, my Mums passing, again it's very devastating moment that adds up to what I have been through in the past. 
But for a reason, God sent someone to comfort me, to give me guidance and support, to show love and care to me, to protect me and make me feel secure, to ease the pain and sorrow im feeling that moment so I've escaped a bit from that grieving process. 

He just came right in time that I never expect I needed anyone.  In those season, I felt happy and loved, Yes I have loved him and I felt his love too not knowing it's only for a season. 

But because he is only for a reason and not for a lifetime, I gained a lesson and experienced that I can make my life better, it makes me tough and strong person in the future. I will just cherish all the good things and kindness he showed at me, and all the memories we've made with be treasured and will always stay in my heart.

Thank you for being there when I needed someone to lean on, you don't know how grateful I am those times the you came into my life.

Thursday, 24 June 2021

When Love is Difficult

Three things that will last forever are faith, hope and love. The greatest of them all is Love. 

What is love to you? The biblical  meaning is Love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it doesn't boast and it isn't proud. It doesn't dishonour others, it's not self-seeking, it's not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrong. That's how God showed his love to us, because God is love.

I was watching and listening to the preaching of a pastor about Love series, and how we practice love according to Christ love to us. Sometimes we misunderstand the kind of love we show to our friends, loveones or to our partner or in marriage.  But the truth is there is the real kind of  love we experience, there is true love and a there is a counterfeit love.

Lets find out the difference between True and Counterfeit Love.

What is true love? True love is a choice, true love is sacrifice and a commitment. It's unconditional and acceptance of the other persons imperfection. It's about faithfulness and trust.The person consider the feelings of another person and dont give up easily, there is no fear in love but perfect love cast out no fear, because fear involve punishment and the one who fears is not perfected in love. 

Counterfeit love? Is all about feelings, its being self centered kind of love. A person may show love  for it's own benefits. The person thinks he/she loves you according to how he/she feels only, more on attraction or physical connection but not with a pure heart to accept a person imperfection if some challenges in the relationship. The person uses most of his feelings, our emotions are sometimes uncontrollable that if we used it in a bad situation it will just destroy the relationship because the feelings are unstable if we decide only according to our negative emotion it doesn.t result to a better decision.

In my personal experience, I always show true love to someone, but sometimes im a difficult person to love, maybe because I can be moody and sensitive, and this video helps me learn and realise what kind of person I am.

I will share the video of the preaching, about the Love Series, it has a few episodes and you can search it on youtube. it's worth watching. 

Monday, 21 June 2021

Finding Oneself

So being alone wasn’t something I wanted. Until suddenly, I didn’t have a choice.When he walked away and left me holding the pieces of my broken heart, I suddenly became the one thing I realized that I feared being alone. As I was replaying the events of the last few days and how we fell apart, a very hard truth dawned on me.

I always want someone to share my life with not because I always found the person to be irresistible or appealing, but because I didn’t want to be alone. I sacrificed what I really wanted because of my subconscious fear of facing life without someone to share my days with. It’s those defining moments in life that change not only you, they can change your entire future as well.

I never had to face myself because I was wrapped up in someone else all the time. And now, as I looked in the mirror, I realized that I didn’t know the woman staring back at me. At least not in the way I should. Sure, I knew the basics of what I liked and didn’t like, but I didn’t really know the answers to all the hard questions. I knew who I was but only through the eyes of others- not because I knew and loved myself.

What made me truly happy? Where was my joy? Did I do the things that filled up my soul? I had spent all my time and energy on other people instead of focusing on me. Tears shed and rolled down my cheek as I stared in the mirror. I had never truly loved and found myself because I was busy trying to love people that didn’t deserve me. And more importantly, I would never be able to accept real and lasting love until I learned to love myself first.

It’s a hard place to be when you finally understand that you’ve neglected your own self love and happiness for so long. But that stops now. I’m tired of choosing love because I dont want to be alone.
No, I want love to choose me because I’m happy and because it’s what I want. That they are who I want, not just who I’m settling for to not be alone. No more dead end men and kissing frogs that pretend to be princes just because I’m scared to be alone. No, I’m going to chase a different kind of love now. The type that won’t let me down, that’ll always be there and will always be worth it in the end.

The kind of love that is genuine, passionate and respectful- one that I’m proud to call my own.
I’m going to spend my days making my heart happy and my nights fulfilling my soul. It’s time I changed my life most of all, starting with me. I’m going to do more than fall in love with being alive..
I’m going to fall in love with the person that I should have loved a long time ago..

The best love story of all, with myself. That’s the happily ever after I’ve always deserved is only to give, surrender and offer my life and plan to God that's the only eternal happiness I will have,

And now, I got this. I don’t know where I’m going or how to get there, but I’ll find my way. One step at a time. I will one day find the true love and my prince charming 💘🙏

Thursday, 28 January 2021


Does your mood affects your day? May it be bad or good? or does the situation affects your mood? For others it is but for some maybe it didn't especially if it will only ruin the day or create negative vibes in the surrounding.
I had a happy mood all day. The day is long but it feels like short and quick for me. Even im staying in the four corners only, it feels like I've been around. Maybe because of how I make myself busy and entertained. I did a lot today. I've tried to have cereal for breakfast for a change. Done my exercise, sister joins at me but she said it's not the type of exercise so she didn't continue 😊.

During noontime sister and I were so entertained watching a funny Facebook live entertainer. It's the first time my sister was listening and she had a good laugh. I've been following it for years so it's part of my entertainment if I feel bored or sad and want to have a good laugh. I bet sister will keep on watching her everytime she will have fb live. After watching, I ask sister to pull my grey hair, nice of her to do it.
After the session, I started singing on karaoke while sister is playing games. It took us few hours entertaining ourselves that we didn't notice it's almost evening, its when we heard the door bell, our dinner has been delivered. It was only 6pm but when we saw the food we straight away have our dinner as if we are so hungry 😁. We had a lazy but an active day as well.

But then a sudden the mood change after dinner, its funny how in just an instance your happiness turned to sadness for just a snap or just an unexpected conversation to someone who you didn't mean a thing to offend, feels like its a big deal. I felt bad thinking it's my fault to ruin my day or ruins someones day. Sometimes I'm too open or let say talkative that I just say anything I want and not thinking or judging other persons feeling. My intention was just to make that person happy but it turns out not to because of my own action.

I'm even looking forward for a nice chat but then maybe it doesn't need to be that way everyday. Sometimes you just dont understand why things happen and the mood change as well and so as the feelings. 

I hope you are fine but actually I'm not fine. I felt ignored and not cared, communication is always the key, but where it is now? I'm just worried and over thinking sometimes if I cant get answer to my concern. But well maybe it's the test only how we deal some situation like this, I shoudn't worry about it much because it will only give me wrinkles.😄

Another day tomorrow and hope all is fine.