Wednesday, 9 December 2020

He Made A Way

Being so far away from our family puts us in a very difficult situation especially when a member of the family died overseas. The pandemic makes it more harder, you don't know if you can travel considering all the covid restrictions and travel conditions. Some aren't allowed to travel because of overall banned for overseas travel or limited airline flights. I knew a couple of friends that never get the chance to see their love ones, it was very sad.

Our mum passed away, I'm not sure if I'm able to go home knowing a friend of ours didn't make it when her mum passed away. Lucky with the change of restriction overtime,  I was exempted to travel under compassionate ground reason. It's very fair and considerate that I was permitted to travel overseas, my work allowed me to have as much off as I need. It's a big decision to go home not knowing when I can return to Australia but I don't think twice, for me I need to see Mama for the last time. I don't care how much it cost or how long I will indefinitely stay overseas. 

Sister and I had a very unforgettable travel experience, lots of obstacles along the way, we almost didn't make it to travel because of very strict restriction, but the presence of God was with us, we keep praying, He was so powerful and He made a way. He turn the impossible into possible, it's miraculous. 

We can feel as if our mum is doing the smart idea, it was her clever moves that is working on our behalf. Of all the experience and challenges we have encountered it feels like mum is telling us what to do, we can actually feel her  presence that moment. It's overwhelming but of course with Gods guidance and mysterious ways everything run smoothly. We can't believe we were able to travel, but we made it.

Thanks God for making it all possible. He didn't leave us in times of our sorrows and challenges. He made a way even there seems to be no way. We always trust and have in faith God because He is the only one that can save us in times of distress.

We finally made it to the Philippines, to celebrate the life of Mama, it was ended all worth it. Now just enjoying our time with family and friends creating happy memories that will be treasured forever.

Thanks to all friends and family who played a big part  of our journey and make our travel successful.

God is good all the time and all the time God is Good.

Tuesday, 8 December 2020

The Flashback

of the tragic memory, trauma and shocked of the death my late hubby. 

It was refreshed again last October 17, when we heard the news about the sudden passed away of my loving Mama. Everything that happened in the past I've recalled and felt again, wasn't a good feeling but its good I handle it better this time. I was so devastated, very sad and so upset of course. The thought that my confidante, my friend and my adviser, the one that makes me feel better when I'm down was now in heaven. The feeling that you don't have a father and this time you've lost a mother as well. 

But knowing she is with the Lord, with Papa and is at peace and not living in the world's uncertainty, makes me feel less sad. Only her absence and my longing that I have no mother to cling unto is like an emptiness in my heart that no one can fill. The moment when I'm planning to have holiday in Philippines only because of her, to celebrate her birthday and create more memories with her, to always surprise her with my presence, the moment that no one will drop me to airport when I go back to Australia. I was lucky to spent the last Christmas and New Year last 2019 with her and my whole siblings. I don't know what it will feel this coming yuletide season.

Her smile, her loud voice that you may interpret she's angry, if you don't know her. (I'm like her sometimes 😁) Some people say we are somewhat have similar ways 🤣, of course she's my mum, so I dont mind being compared, especially the good things she did, I will acknowledge it 🤣. 

Silently I've missed her a lot, knowing I don't have someone to talk to especially if I'm feeling down or confused, I miss her laughter the most and never ending chats if she started. I only regret when I dont talk to her much as often as what sister do, but we always have quality time together when we talk, she know how much I love her, I'm not only showy or vocal. 

One thing I've learnt from everything, in losing someone dearly in your life. Always make them feel they are loved, keep in touch with them when they're far away from you, just say Hi and How are you daily even a short chat, it will make them feel so happy and it's a big thing to them. Be kind to everyone, we don't know what they've been through. Tell your love ones I love you before it's too late. 

We only live once and we dont know when will be our last breath, so make the most of everything while we live on earth, live happily, love one another, help each other, forgive if someone did wrong to you, don't live on hatred or grudges, above all Love God in all that we do is what our life's purpose. 

Mama, wherever you are I know you are happy and already fulfilled your mission on earth. Always watch over us and just whisper to us if you think life's journey seems unfair, please lead us to be in the right track of happiness and fulfilling life as what you've done here on earth.

We are so proud to be your children and we love you so much. 

I miss you Mama. 😢

My sister and I memory photo with you. Our footsteps when we visit botanic garden in Adelaide. Just remember that as we continue our life, being your children, we will do our best to follow your footstep, the footstep that will lead us to become a version of a beautiful Mama like You.