Wednesday, 25 March 2020

The Day You Went Away

So sad but true, it's one year now. It started from days, weeks, months had gone by so fast when he vanish like a smoke. My world collapsed, I lost hope and fear starts to kick in. Our plans were ruined, I can't stand alone, a part of me is missing and my heart was shattered. The day begins, I don't know where to start,  the most painful and saddest day of my life, it's like a torture thinking of him everyday and knowing he disappear forever.  I can't cry out loud but my heart is. God took him away from me too soon, it's unfair but it was his Will, I can't contradict to His plan. I'm angry, heartbroken, but not blaming Him for what had happened. I'm very upset that its the reality of my life but I need to accept and start a new one. I like to ask God Why? but who am I to question? I realise that my faith to Him is not as deeper as what I believe, so with the help of my Christian community, my faith grows deeper and deeper everyday, I accept the situation, it's painful and long process, but there is a better future awaits for me that God is preparing that's what I'm holding on. There's more to life than to focus on negativity.

With the help of my sister, my mum, my workmates  and my beautiful friends, I understand everything that happens. My spiritual adviser, my counselor help me deal and cope with the situation. I was so lucky. I get all the support I needed, very very lucky that I'm not alone, I'm surrounded by beautiful souls during my difficult times. They're all there for me, to enlighten me, make me strong and give me word of encouragement, I have full support and they always visit me so I won't be sad or become depress. How bless and thankful I am to have all of them. That's were I get my strength, of course above all believe and have faith in the plans of God. I know after all the heartaches, the painful experience, things will get better and He has good things coming on my way. I need to be patient and wait for the right time. 

Now I'm living with a positive view in life, I still feel sad and cry sometimes, but I'm okay, just the memories we shared that gets me so emotional.  Some people may think I'm doing great because I can crack a nice jokes but they don't know behind those smile is sad person who is trying to mend a broken heart.  I really try to be happy always, I do things I like to do, go to places I love to go.

This is life, so live it and make the most of it while your living. Life is too short, so give all your best to your love ones, surround them with happy memories and do good to others.

I hope wherever you are right now, you are happy and living an eternal life. I miss you lots and lots. Please continue to be my guardian angel, I can feel you sometimes and I'm happy knowing you are there for me.

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