Monday, 30 March 2020

The World is Changing

The world is in crisis right now. Many people have suffered and died from the pandemic cause of Corona Virus. A very infectious and deadly disease that spreads everywhere, anywhere and infect the lives of human. No one knows who will get it, it maybe you or maybe me. It's very scary and sad to think that the world is experiencing this unprecedented event. Who would believe it's really happening right now? 

The government are doing their best to solve the problem, but it will only stop with the help and cooperation of all the people in every nation. It was very tough situation the whole world is dealing right now. Our nation made a decision to lock down borders especially overseas travelling. All public places that people gather together were closed, you name it.  People were restricted to stay home if possible and be vigilant of what's happening in the surrounding. No party or events, people panicking like it's the end of the world. There's a sudden hysteria in supermarkets regarding toilet paper, I wonder why πŸ˜ƒ It's like your watching a horror or an Outbreak movie the way people act and react with the situation. We can't blame them though. 

But with all of this restriction, It's our time to reflect about what kind of life ahead of us after all of this experiences. We are able to spend quality time with our families, it's time to focus on what's important in life, how we can live by just mostly staying at home, no going out, no dining in restaurant, no going to pubs and clubs or do some outdoor sports or activities. 

It's been a month or two now since it's started. I'm praying and let us all pray that God will hear all our prayers and one day, very soon everything will come back to normal, let us be patient because He can do it in His time and we can live more happily after everything we've been through. As long as we have strong faith in God, we don't really need to worry, we will understand His Plan and He will make the world a better place. No medicine can cure no matter what, if His purpose is to renew us, it's only Him, no one is more powerful than God but if we all surrender our burdens, our life and call on His name, He can make miracles and restore all the broken,  we will just be surprised, His already working in mysterious ways. He will our Land, it's worth waiting.

Time is important so let's all spend it wisely. Love one another because God is Love.

Friday, 27 March 2020

Panna Cotta Dessert

Last Tuesday March 24, is the birthday of my Brother In-law at the same time the tragic day of my late husband. The day before, the government announced the restriction of going out to dine-in, in a restaurant and other food chains so we ended  up having to celebrate at home. My mother inlaw suggest we will only order take away pizza so I don't need to prepare something but I mentioned to her "we often eat pizza" πŸ˜„πŸ˜„ so I told her I will cook an easy meal. So I cooked lemon and herb Salmon steaks and some mix vegetable on the side.

But our highlight for the day is her delicious dessert that she brought.  I love the panna cotta topped with passion fruit and plus her traditional pavlova dessert with blueberry, raspberry and peaches topping was very yummy as well. I didn't post a photo of them together with us just to protect their privacy, they're shy on cameraπŸ˜ƒπŸ˜ƒ

Wednesday, 25 March 2020

The Day You Went Away

So sad but true, it's one year now. It started from days, weeks, months had gone by so fast when he vanish like a smoke. My world collapsed, I lost hope and fear starts to kick in. Our plans were ruined, I can't stand alone, a part of me is missing and my heart was shattered. The day begins, I don't know where to start,  the most painful and saddest day of my life, it's like a torture thinking of him everyday and knowing he disappear forever.  I can't cry out loud but my heart is. God took him away from me too soon, it's unfair but it was his Will, I can't contradict to His plan. I'm angry, heartbroken, but not blaming Him for what had happened. I'm very upset that its the reality of my life but I need to accept and start a new one. I like to ask God Why? but who am I to question? I realise that my faith to Him is not as deeper as what I believe, so with the help of my Christian community, my faith grows deeper and deeper everyday, I accept the situation, it's painful and long process, but there is a better future awaits for me that God is preparing that's what I'm holding on. There's more to life than to focus on negativity.

With the help of my sister, my mum, my workmates  and my beautiful friends, I understand everything that happens. My spiritual adviser, my counselor help me deal and cope with the situation. I was so lucky. I get all the support I needed, very very lucky that I'm not alone, I'm surrounded by beautiful souls during my difficult times. They're all there for me, to enlighten me, make me strong and give me word of encouragement, I have full support and they always visit me so I won't be sad or become depress. How bless and thankful I am to have all of them. That's were I get my strength, of course above all believe and have faith in the plans of God. I know after all the heartaches, the painful experience, things will get better and He has good things coming on my way. I need to be patient and wait for the right time. 

Now I'm living with a positive view in life, I still feel sad and cry sometimes, but I'm okay, just the memories we shared that gets me so emotional.  Some people may think I'm doing great because I can crack a nice jokes but they don't know behind those smile is sad person who is trying to mend a broken heart.  I really try to be happy always, I do things I like to do, go to places I love to go.

This is life, so live it and make the most of it while your living. Life is too short, so give all your best to your love ones, surround them with happy memories and do good to others.

I hope wherever you are right now, you are happy and living an eternal life. I miss you lots and lots. Please continue to be my guardian angel, I can feel you sometimes and I'm happy knowing you are there for me.

Tuesday, 24 March 2020

Cancelled Holiday Due to COVID-19

Supposed to be, last March 21, Saturday, my sis and I will go for an interstate holiday for 5 days at Tasmania but was cancelled due to COVID-19 restriction of travel. Since the roster at work was already fixed, I can't withdraw my annual leave. So I wonder what am I going to do with the rest of my days off since it's not recommended to be exposed outside and avoid crowds. 

Actually the cancelled holiday was really a good idea, sis and I help each other clean up and tidying the house, re-arranging the lounge and furniture. I had the time to change the water of an aquarium tank and transfer it to hallway area, it takes a couple hours and more. Clean and backwash the swimming pool, lots of clean up(lol) It was very productive and relaxing holiday at the same. I'm proud of myself (lol) Achievement it is.

There's one morning, I went for a walk alone along the shore and out of a sudden I saw a green color pebble on the sand, its my fave colour plus it's semi-heart shaped, I became emotional thinking my late hubby was walking with me, of many color why Green? I feel teary eyed. I really had a good look on pebble maybe it's just plastic or glass that was wiped out by the waves, but it's really a pebble, I even try to bite it to make sure it's not plastic or glass made.  As I keep walking I didn't notice I'm already collecting some unique shape and sizes of pebbles to add in my aquarium tank, the pockets of my jumper are already full and I end up coming back to the shore the next day and collect more pebblesπŸ˜ƒπŸ˜ƒ

Thursday, 5 March 2020

A True Friend's Creed

I was quite emotional last night. I was almost going to fall asleep when suddenly recall of what happened to my late hubby, it was my nightmare that kept hunting me. It's almost a year since he passed away and our 12th wedding anniversary is coming very soon. Maybe that's why I became emotional lately and randomly cried whereever I am but mostly when I'm alone driving and during night time. 

It's past midnight, I just breakdown and tears just flowing from my eyes, I wanted to talk to someone that moment so I scroll my messenger to look for my guidance counselor friend if she's online and still awake. So I message her and told her I'm feeling sad. Luckily she replied quickly and with no hesitation, I just straight away told her I'm crying. It's feels good that I can easily open and express my feelings to her and in return she give me words of encouragement how to ease my pain and make me feel calm. She was good on that, and I feel better after hearing her word of wisdom and positive approach how to handle my situation, which I already knew but sometimes I can't help myself and can't control my emotion.

After our conversation, I apologise to her for disturbing her sleeping time and making her stay late knowing she will wake up very early. But instead she told me, anytime or whatever she's doing, I won't hesitate to message or call her because she's happy to help. She then sent me a beautiful quote, I'm so  touched and felt so blessed to have someone I can lean on when I don't have no one to talk to especially in times like this.