Wednesday, 16 June 2021

To Love and Be Loved

by someone is the best feeling ever. Yes, I was loved, so loved that I can't imagine I will ever felt it again. It's beautiful feeling that I was like in a fairy tale, like a princess. I'ved met a beautiful person and he treat me so special and made me feel i'm the prettiest woman in the world 😃 He showed all his care and loved to me, I genuinely feel it. He was so caring, loving, devote all his time, always there to cheer me up when I'm down and comfort me with his love. Helps me do some handyman job around the house that I will be forever so grateful.

My comforter, my lover and my bestfriend that we get along in every activities of life from gardening, table tennis, netflix, shopping, beach walking, dining out, camping, roadtrips and parties with friends, etc. We jive, laugh and joke around. I like his personality the way he look at life and how to live life. We both had strong family relationship which I love the most. But for some reason and for the best of both, we part ways with no hatred. Wherever our path may take one day, I wish him the best and a life full of happiness. In Gods time if ever our path may cross, we can smile to each other and happy whereever our life may takesplace.

Thank you for loving me.

Today is my Birthday

Today, I’m going to change my mindset and remember who I used to be and what I wanted.
Life has been dragging me down, so I’m going to flip the script.
I’m going to do less of the stuff that brings me down and more of the things that fill my soul.
I’ve been going too long and too hard at doing the things that don’t replenish my spirit.
That stops now.
I owe it to myself to get out of this rut, expand my thinking and rediscover my joy again.
I’ve been going through the motions for far too long and not listening to my soul.
That stops now.
No more regrets, no more excuses.
If my life isn’t what I want it to be, then it’s up to me to change it.
I’ve been treading water and just getting by for as long as I can remember..
And it’s left me feeling empty inside.
I’ve forgotten how to live on the way to making a living.
I’m done with that thinking and accepting “good enough.”
I’ve let too many things and happiness pass me by without standing up and doing what makes me happy.
I’ve been just getting by.
I’ve lost the joy of living and forgotten what it means to be truly happy.
Not just in the moments, but in my life.
I’m taking back my happiness and reclaiming my life.
Instead of making excuses for why I can’t,
I’m going to find the reasons for why I can.
Life is too short to leave things undone, unsaid and unfelt.
Everything happens for a reason and I realize that this is my wake up call…
It can be yours as well.
Someone out there needs to hear this, so I’m telling you it’s time we stood up and made the changes in our lives that we need to be happy.
Not just for a moment, a few minutes or a day..
But for the rest of our lives.
I’m not going to leave things undone, unsaid and not felt.
I know that chasing my dreams and finding happiness won’t be easy..there will always be roadblocks and detours on the way to anywhere worth going.
I just know with love in my heart, peace in my soul and fire in my spirit, there’s nothing I can’t do..
So, take my hand and let’s start truly loving and living.
No more excuses, rationalizing and accepting less than we deserve.
It’s our time and this is the place where we remember our dreams and start believing in ourselves again.
Forget about yesterday and tomorrow.
Let’s live in the beautiful moments of today.
After all, forever starts right now..
If you have the courage to believe in yourself and chase your dreams.
I know I do. 
Join me, won’t you?

Thursday, 28 January 2021

Mood

Does your mood affects your day? May it be bad or good? or does the situation affects your mood? For others it is but for some maybe it didn't especially if it will only ruin the day or create negative vibes in the surrounding.
 
I had a happy mood all day. The day is long but it feels like short and quick for me. Even im staying in the four corners only, it feels like I've been around. Maybe because of how I make myself busy and entertained. I did a lot today. I've tried to have cereal for breakfast for a change. Done my exercise, sister joins at me but she said it's not the type of exercise so she didn't continue 😊.

During noontime sister and I were so entertained watching a funny Facebook live entertainer. It's the first time my sister was listening and she had a good laugh. I've been following it for years so it's part of my entertainment if I feel bored or sad and want to have a good laugh. I bet sister will keep on watching her everytime she will have fb live. After watching, I ask sister to pull my grey hair, nice of her to do it.
 
After the session, I started singing on karaoke while sister is playing games. It took us few hours entertaining ourselves that we didn't notice it's almost evening, its when we heard the door bell, our dinner has been delivered. It was only 6pm but when we saw the food we straight away have our dinner as if we are so hungry 😁. We had a lazy but an active day as well.

But then a sudden the mood change after dinner, its funny how in just an instance your happiness turned to sadness for just a snap or just an unexpected conversation to someone who you didn't mean a thing to offend, feels like its a big deal. I felt bad thinking it's my fault to ruin my day or ruins someones day. Sometimes I'm too open or let say talkative that I just say anything I want and not thinking or judging other persons feeling. My intention was just to make that person happy but it turns out not to because of my own action.

I'm even looking forward for a nice chat but then maybe it doesn't need to be that way everyday. Sometimes you just dont understand why things happen and the mood change as well and so as the feelings. 

I hope you are fine but actually I'm not fine. I felt ignored and not cared, communication is always the key, but where it is now? I'm just worried and over thinking sometimes if I cant get answer to my concern. But well maybe it's the test only how we deal some situation like this, I shoudn't worry about it much because it will only give me wrinkles.😄

Another day tomorrow and hope all is fine.


Saturday, 16 January 2021

Expect nothing

And you get something. Sometimes we want something but we don't get it, but when you least expect it, you receive something and or got someone, so it was YOU that makes my world go round. 

To you who just appear out of nowhere 
To you who I never expect to get along with 
To you who is there to me when I'm at my worst and sorrow times 
To you who consistently talk and stay during wee hours
To you who never get tired of listening to my concern and sometimes drama
To you who makes me feel I'm the prettiest woman in the world
To you believe me in any ways
To you who goes out all the way to help me sort out stuff I can't do in my absence
To you who is very kind, genuine, honest and trustworthy
To you who makes my heartbeat again
To you that makes me feel me think that love is worth the second time around
To you who makes me feel secure 
To you who accepts me for who I am
To you who snore and sleeptalk 😁
But because of you and your flaws makes me accept the whole of you and so you accept the whole lot of me. 
To you who less talk but more of action, that's what I love most about you. 
To you, how I wish you never get tired of me. 

So the You, please be good, stay real and stay the same. 

Let's keep the love shining and the love stronger and healthier. 

I LAB YOU... ❤️❤️❤️



Wednesday, 9 December 2020

He Made A Way

Being so far away from our family puts us in a very difficult situation especially when a member of the family died overseas. The pandemic makes it more harder, you don't know if you can travel considering all the covid restrictions and travel conditions. Some aren't allowed to travel because of overall banned for overseas travel or limited airline flights. I knew a couple of friends that never get the chance to see their love ones, it was very sad.

Our mum passed away, I'm not sure if I'm able to go home knowing a friend of ours didn't make it when her mum passed away. Lucky with the change of restriction overtime,  I was exempted to travel under compassionate ground reason. It's very fair and considerate that I was permitted to travel overseas, my work allowed me to have as much off as I need. It's a big decision to go home not knowing when I can return to Australia but I don't think twice, for me I need to see Mama for the last time. I don't care how much it cost or how long I will indefinitely stay overseas. 

Sister and I had a very unforgettable travel experience, lots of obstacles along the way, we almost didn't make it to travel because of very strict restriction, but the presence of God was with us, we keep praying, He was so powerful and He made a way. He turn the impossible into possible, it's miraculous. 

We can feel as if our mum is doing the smart idea, it was her clever moves that is working on our behalf. Of all the experience and challenges we have encountered it feels like mum is telling us what to do, we can actually feel her  presence that moment. It's overwhelming but of course with Gods guidance and mysterious ways everything run smoothly. We can't believe we were able to travel, but we made it.

Thanks God for making it all possible. He didn't leave us in times of our sorrows and challenges. He made a way even there seems to be no way. We always trust and have in faith God because He is the only one that can save us in times of distress.

We finally made it to the Philippines, to celebrate the life of Mama, it was ended all worth it. Now just enjoying our time with family and friends creating happy memories that will be treasured forever.

Thanks to all friends and family who played a big part  of our journey and make our travel successful.

God is good all the time and all the time God is Good.


Tuesday, 8 December 2020

The Flashback

of the tragic memory, trauma and shocked of the death my late hubby. 

It was refreshed again last October 17, when we heard the news about the sudden passed away of my loving Mama. Everything that happened in the past I've recalled and felt again, wasn't a good feeling but its good I handle it better this time. I was so devastated, very sad and so upset of course. The thought that my confidante, my friend and my adviser, the one that makes me feel better when I'm down was now in heaven. The feeling that you don't have a father and this time you've lost a mother as well. 

But knowing she is with the Lord, with Papa and is at peace and not living in the world's uncertainty, makes me feel less sad. Only her absence and my longing that I have no mother to cling unto is like an emptiness in my heart that no one can fill. The moment when I'm planning to have holiday in Philippines only because of her, to celebrate her birthday and create more memories with her, to always surprise her with my presence, the moment that no one will drop me to airport when I go back to Australia. I was lucky to spent the last Christmas and New Year last 2019 with her and my whole siblings. I don't know what it will feel this coming yuletide season.

Her smile, her loud voice that you may interpret she's angry, if you don't know her. (I'm like her sometimes 😁) Some people say we are somewhat have similar ways 🤣, of course she's my mum, so I dont mind being compared, especially the good things she did, I will acknowledge it 🤣. 

Silently I've missed her a lot, knowing I don't have someone to talk to especially if I'm feeling down or confused, I miss her laughter the most and never ending chats if she started. I only regret when I dont talk to her much as often as what sister do, but we always have quality time together when we talk, she know how much I love her, I'm not only showy or vocal. 

One thing I've learnt from everything, in losing someone dearly in your life. Always make them feel they are loved, keep in touch with them when they're far away from you, just say Hi and How are you daily even a short chat, it will make them feel so happy and it's a big thing to them. Be kind to everyone, we don't know what they've been through. Tell your love ones I love you before it's too late. 

We only live once and we dont know when will be our last breath, so make the most of everything while we live on earth, live happily, love one another, help each other, forgive if someone did wrong to you, don't live on hatred or grudges, above all Love God in all that we do is what our life's purpose. 

Mama, wherever you are I know you are happy and already fulfilled your mission on earth. Always watch over us and just whisper to us if you think life's journey seems unfair, please lead us to be in the right track of happiness and fulfilling life as what you've done here on earth.

We are so proud to be your children and we love you so much. 

I miss you Mama. 😢

My sister and I memory photo with you. Our footsteps when we visit botanic garden in Adelaide. Just remember that as we continue our life, being your children, we will do our best to follow your footstep, the footstep that will lead us to become a version of a beautiful Mama like You. 


Monday, 21 September 2020

Feeling Lost

 It's been a while but now back again. Just random thoughts I have been thinking to write here. I actually have lots of roadtrip and travel photos to post but  I have been busy doing something and focusing my time to other stuff. Now I'm so behind with my photo blogging. 

Sometimes, I feel confuse or feeling lost. Am I like that? I should answer it myself 😁 As if my  life has no GPS to guide me 😕 where I am heading or how to reach the destination or the goals I wanted in my life. Sometimes I don't understand my purpose in life, like I'm trying to do things to make me happy and to make other people happy, but it end up that I still feel something different or I disappoint them. Like there's no satisfaction, am I feeling down? I think I'm not, maybe just tryng to work out things that aren't meant to be but I still insist it will be mean to be. Sometimes if I use my heart, I will put myself in trouble. Am I inlove? To whom? To myself?  Am I getting crazy? haha I can be or I'm just over thinking I guess lol, this is not healthy haha, I should just think of nice things that will make my day better and brighter. 

Hope God will strengthen me, give me wisdom to understand my mission in life and enlighten my mind to walk in the right path, where there is no destruction and confusion but the path or track that will lead into better life, happiness, peace of mind, full of loving and understanding people around me even I bump into rough road but still manage to stand up and be brave to face lifes challenges

I think I'm just tired and sleepy 😃😃so I better rest and have a nice sleep.